in these small hours

today at work :

*jerry wheels up...shovelling his feet on the floor to move...i run to the copy machine*
jerry: "MISS! MISS"
me (run back to the front) : Hello Jerry!
jerry : *yells* MY NAME IS JERRY POVLIKA ! Where do i go from here?
me: jerry ...down that hallway is your room
jerry: what room number?
me: 200!
jerry : WHAT? 12???
me : NO! 200!
jerry: okay....thank you!


20 minutes later

Jerry: MISS MISS WHERES MY ROOM!

******** this happened a majority of the day...sometimes hed change it up a little but his dementia has been progessing it seems. it can be trying but i dont lose patience....because how could i with someone who is helpless in terms of memory.


Nicaragua is so close its scary. I had a meeting last weekend...i looked cute ready to go but as i was putting gas into my car a turrential downpour started and i looked like a sewer rat. my straight hair became frizzy and curly...my clothes never fully dried despite the blasting air, heat, and alternating wind tunnels . But it went well. I have to finish all of my forms and things....i learned a bit about the history....and ill report more as i learn.
Ive raised almost 200 dollars so far for my trip....our goal was 200 each so the extra money i raise will go towards my funds like the hotel and airfaire...all donaters recieve tax deductibles which is an incentive! I feel so blessed with each check i get in the mail. I recently opened one from my grandmother and am a little choked up about it...i feel like i didnt have her support and then i read her sweet note and my heart smilled. i know that its hard to watch me grow up and things like this...i am scared to the core but im excited as well and with each wave of fear comes a wave of excitement.

song of moment : "amen" by kid rock....sounds a bit crazy as a recommendation being that its kid rock but seriously its powerful!