so im sick again, and once again im sick at my boyfriends which always seems to happen. I was praying and praying it was just allergies but as it got worse, regardless of allergy medicine, and my sinuses began to plug it was evident that this was more than just allergies and a cold rather. so now im in bed at my boyfriends, hes out playing cards. such a life. id rather he be out so i can rest and sleep. Its weird how much alike we are but when it comes to sleep, he doesnt need more than 5 hours a night..while i need at least 8 - 12 with a nap throughout the day. i feel sick if i am up past 11 and he can go to bed at 4 and be up at 7 with no trouble at all. wow. im not even jealous because i looooove sleep.
on the job front, the health dept. needs my transcipts before i can drop off the app and interview. so im not sure if i should wait until the HESI grade is fixed because right now it looks like i have an F on my grades and i dont think that would look very well in a competitive market. hm.
the stuff for the course was mailed out last friday so i can begin it as soon as i get it. Im thinking this weekend. Mom will be out of town and ill have the place to myself for a week to really buckle down and get to work on this. I cant wait to pass it!! what a victory it will be! im ready to get to work as well with this class. not having school or work or anything is fun for like 2 days then im B O R E D. Im just ready to do something important with myself!!!! i know i need to be resting and i havent been considering my mono and all the illnesses i keep getting., but its just so boring to lay around and rest all the time! especially when its been as nice as its been. In kentucky weve been outside almsot every day on the farm, cooking out, taking walks. We are seriously so blessed with a beautiful world to enjoy. Proof of God and his love for us! i cant even imagine how Heaven will be when this world is as beautiful as it is....although thats not true everywhere. Laura is going to Nicaragua again and i am sooooo jealous. i would love to go back! i serously feel like there is so much more for me to do there. my work will never be done! i dont think its financially possible and im not even sure where ill bei n august in terms of a job or living circumstances...i just wish with my whole heart it was possible. Nicaragua is the most wonderiful thing I have ever done . I think of it most everyday day and the experiences i had. What an amazing journey.
im really tired, this nyquil is kicking in so im going to nap.
if you want a good movie recommendation, i highly recommend Marley & Me, although you need a big box of tissues for it. its a really good story =)
Monday, May 25, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I got up early today so that i could hurry up and wait. was supposed to go to kentucky but now im not leaving till 2 because bf has something now to do that he just informed me of, i could get into the politics of this but i wont.
i realized i never blogged the story of Stormy my new mechanic. so ill do that.
about 3 weeks ago, i had a meeting with my peri-op class on a friday, after this meeting i was going to go to kentucky to see my bf and because it was his neice's birthday whom i promised with my whole heart i would be at her party because she asked and begged for me to come. i guess kids love me or something. buT ANYWAYS, after the class i stopped to get gas, then I realized i had forgotten something at home, so i ran home, got what i forget, and when i got back into my car it wouldnt start. so i started freaking out a bit, ran inside to get the little car jumper my dad got me, but when i tried to hook it up i couldnt find the postive connector on my battery so i realized the jumper thing was dead, i searched my car and of course i dont have jumper cables, and i really had no idea what i was doing lets face it. SO i called my dad which i always do in times like this and of course he thinks im just turning the key wrong, and he thinks it might be the starter, so he tells me to start calling some shops, so i do that and all of them are telling me that cant get the car until monday or tuesday and thats too late for me i wouldnt make it to the party and lets face it the car is stuck in the drive way and needs to be moved because leah has to go to work! i got places to be! so i tell dad this and recommends that i try to jump it and ask a neighbor to help me. So i went to the neighbors and rang the doorbell, there was no answer, so i figured either Hanna (the nurse next door who works nights) must have been sleeping, so i ran to my downstairs neighbors, knocked and waited and realized no one was home. As i did that i heard the next door neighbors open the door and shut it, so i ran back over there, knocked this time, and Hanna comes to to door looking like she just woke up, i apologized for that but she said it was the UPS man who woke her up, which really was me 10 minutes prior, not the UPS man but hey, let her think that! I told her my car wouldnt start and so she got Ben, her brother in law to come out and jump my car with his jeep. He has on combat boots and short shorts ( i dont know) and then he manually pushes my car into the street (wow) and he proceeds to connect the thingys and TAA DAAA my car starts. He tells me that i just need to let it run, and drive it aruond and itll be fine. So Im like ya whatever and i get on my way to kentucky. im like 45 minutes into my drive when i reaize my car starts to overheat...which it does when its low on coolant, and i think i have a coolant leak as well as my oil leak, my car is just that awesome. I stop at a gas station in a little podunk town called North Baltimore, i mean we are literally in the middle of butt ass nowhere. and its a trucker gas station on 75. so i run inside get a cone and fill up with coolant, and then i get back in the car.....what do you think happens? You are right. tHE CAR WOULDNT START. so im freaking otu again...i go inside and ask the lady (who, to be friendly i will just desribe as your traditional small country town gas station attendent, let your imagination make of that what it will) if they sell jumper cables. she doesnt know, and asks her husband who is in the back in the office (he happens to be the manager, and has winged hair...sidenote: winged hair is when then man has a buzz on the sides but the top layer is long and parted down the middle and kind of hangs over the buzzed sides) he shows me where they are, i purchase them and then ask him if he would mind using them. so he drives his old ass truck to my car, tries it out and then when it doesnt work he decides to get his wifes oldsmobile and tries it again then admits he knows nothing about cars. im just sitting there watching. he then goes over and asks all of the people currently at the gas station getting gas, cigs, or lottery tickets to come over and take a look. so now im sitting in my car with about 15 people around the front of the car trying to figure it out. a woman with a mullet, and a mom sweatshirt (sidenote: a mom sweatshirt is a sweatshirt that doenst have a hood) gray with mickey mouse on the front, grey spandex sweatpants, and tennis socks pulled up over the sweatpants with white LA sneakers takes to me and starts talking me as i am on the phone trying to talk to my dad. she tells me she has a daughter my age but she makes her take peper spray everywhere, recommends this to me, is shock i am on my own driving so far, and invites me to dinnerat her house, but reassures me that i am safe. some of the people decide that its my started, others think my battery is dead, and some are just plain confused. so the gas station manager tells me he is going to call the town mechanic names "Stormy" ....he calls him, and within 10 minues Stormy and his son Stormy Jr. pull in . they take a look at my car. Stormy takes a very large wrench thing and starts beating the side of my car with it. im just in shock at this point, he looks up at me and says "its your starter"...these are the only words i have ever heard stormy say. so stormy and the manager make a deal, he stormy and stormy jr. hook my car up to his and take it away. i am now stranded at this gas station. i go inside and sit down, the manager offers me cookies his wife baked, i politely decline although i am starving, i just didnt feel right eating. the manager takes my dads credit card, charges it and gives me the money to pay for the work being done. I wait and wait and wait. i watch an underage thug try to steal cigarattes, but this woman practically jumps over the counter and gets them back, i get to know a lot of the town folk, a few people stop my (including the mullet lady) several times to get lottery tickets and then turn the winners in for more lottery tickets thus is a neverending process of more and more lottery tickets, and then a man comes in and just hangs out at the gas station everyday, he does some cleaning and coffee making there for free, and he says he even mows the law around the gas station for free, he just likes to help out , got nothing else to do. 3 hours pass and stormy returns with my car. charges me 160 $ ....pretty cheap, gives me his phone number and his son tells me to call him anytime to get work done on my car if i am ever in trouble, they travel as far as Michigan. and i take off, on my way, to kentucky and i made it to the birthday party. I will forever hold the residents and gas station of North Baltimore in my heart.
i realized i never blogged the story of Stormy my new mechanic. so ill do that.
about 3 weeks ago, i had a meeting with my peri-op class on a friday, after this meeting i was going to go to kentucky to see my bf and because it was his neice's birthday whom i promised with my whole heart i would be at her party because she asked and begged for me to come. i guess kids love me or something. buT ANYWAYS, after the class i stopped to get gas, then I realized i had forgotten something at home, so i ran home, got what i forget, and when i got back into my car it wouldnt start. so i started freaking out a bit, ran inside to get the little car jumper my dad got me, but when i tried to hook it up i couldnt find the postive connector on my battery so i realized the jumper thing was dead, i searched my car and of course i dont have jumper cables, and i really had no idea what i was doing lets face it. SO i called my dad which i always do in times like this and of course he thinks im just turning the key wrong, and he thinks it might be the starter, so he tells me to start calling some shops, so i do that and all of them are telling me that cant get the car until monday or tuesday and thats too late for me i wouldnt make it to the party and lets face it the car is stuck in the drive way and needs to be moved because leah has to go to work! i got places to be! so i tell dad this and recommends that i try to jump it and ask a neighbor to help me. So i went to the neighbors and rang the doorbell, there was no answer, so i figured either Hanna (the nurse next door who works nights) must have been sleeping, so i ran to my downstairs neighbors, knocked and waited and realized no one was home. As i did that i heard the next door neighbors open the door and shut it, so i ran back over there, knocked this time, and Hanna comes to to door looking like she just woke up, i apologized for that but she said it was the UPS man who woke her up, which really was me 10 minutes prior, not the UPS man but hey, let her think that! I told her my car wouldnt start and so she got Ben, her brother in law to come out and jump my car with his jeep. He has on combat boots and short shorts ( i dont know) and then he manually pushes my car into the street (wow) and he proceeds to connect the thingys and TAA DAAA my car starts. He tells me that i just need to let it run, and drive it aruond and itll be fine. So Im like ya whatever and i get on my way to kentucky. im like 45 minutes into my drive when i reaize my car starts to overheat...which it does when its low on coolant, and i think i have a coolant leak as well as my oil leak, my car is just that awesome. I stop at a gas station in a little podunk town called North Baltimore, i mean we are literally in the middle of butt ass nowhere. and its a trucker gas station on 75. so i run inside get a cone and fill up with coolant, and then i get back in the car.....what do you think happens? You are right. tHE CAR WOULDNT START. so im freaking otu again...i go inside and ask the lady (who, to be friendly i will just desribe as your traditional small country town gas station attendent, let your imagination make of that what it will) if they sell jumper cables. she doesnt know, and asks her husband who is in the back in the office (he happens to be the manager, and has winged hair...sidenote: winged hair is when then man has a buzz on the sides but the top layer is long and parted down the middle and kind of hangs over the buzzed sides) he shows me where they are, i purchase them and then ask him if he would mind using them. so he drives his old ass truck to my car, tries it out and then when it doesnt work he decides to get his wifes oldsmobile and tries it again then admits he knows nothing about cars. im just sitting there watching. he then goes over and asks all of the people currently at the gas station getting gas, cigs, or lottery tickets to come over and take a look. so now im sitting in my car with about 15 people around the front of the car trying to figure it out. a woman with a mullet, and a mom sweatshirt (sidenote: a mom sweatshirt is a sweatshirt that doenst have a hood) gray with mickey mouse on the front, grey spandex sweatpants, and tennis socks pulled up over the sweatpants with white LA sneakers takes to me and starts talking me as i am on the phone trying to talk to my dad. she tells me she has a daughter my age but she makes her take peper spray everywhere, recommends this to me, is shock i am on my own driving so far, and invites me to dinnerat her house, but reassures me that i am safe. some of the people decide that its my started, others think my battery is dead, and some are just plain confused. so the gas station manager tells me he is going to call the town mechanic names "Stormy" ....he calls him, and within 10 minues Stormy and his son Stormy Jr. pull in . they take a look at my car. Stormy takes a very large wrench thing and starts beating the side of my car with it. im just in shock at this point, he looks up at me and says "its your starter"...these are the only words i have ever heard stormy say. so stormy and the manager make a deal, he stormy and stormy jr. hook my car up to his and take it away. i am now stranded at this gas station. i go inside and sit down, the manager offers me cookies his wife baked, i politely decline although i am starving, i just didnt feel right eating. the manager takes my dads credit card, charges it and gives me the money to pay for the work being done. I wait and wait and wait. i watch an underage thug try to steal cigarattes, but this woman practically jumps over the counter and gets them back, i get to know a lot of the town folk, a few people stop my (including the mullet lady) several times to get lottery tickets and then turn the winners in for more lottery tickets thus is a neverending process of more and more lottery tickets, and then a man comes in and just hangs out at the gas station everyday, he does some cleaning and coffee making there for free, and he says he even mows the law around the gas station for free, he just likes to help out , got nothing else to do. 3 hours pass and stormy returns with my car. charges me 160 $ ....pretty cheap, gives me his phone number and his son tells me to call him anytime to get work done on my car if i am ever in trouble, they travel as far as Michigan. and i take off, on my way, to kentucky and i made it to the birthday party. I will forever hold the residents and gas station of North Baltimore in my heart.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
i cant stop crying,
i wish i could relive the past day, it was so wonderful.
graduating was such a weird experience, it was like i was playing dress up with a rather ugly black gown. and my family was so wonderful, it was so nice to spend time with all of them and see how proud they are of me. Im glad i could make them proud.
and then there is my beautiful boyfriend who drove all the way to see me graduate in a car on the verge of breaking down, and he left this morning and i just cant believe how fast it went by, now i wont see him for a little while and i feel like the past day weve grown even closer which is so unbelievable to experience. this relationship constantly surprises me in how it grows and changes, just when you think youre in love it becomes deeper and a new understanding of what love is surfaces. and God, do i love him, and i know he loves me.
and now i just cry and cry and cry because im all alone in this apartment trying to get out of here so ican go home and not be remined of the fun i had with him in the place ive hated for so long, i dont want to look at the couch where we watched tv, or the bed we slept in, or anything else! I just want to be home with people who love me....with anyone who loves me, or in kentucky but thats not possible.
i never thought anyone would love me like this. i didnt even believe love like this existed. i hate to not be able to live without someone. its so rough.
and i wishi could control my emotions somehow and i cant, and the fact that the clothes inthe dryer wont dry faster adn that there is another load waitinng to be dried and this is keeping me from going anywhere is just killing me right now and making me cry harder.
all of my support system is gone and i feel so alone, ugh these damn tears.
i wish i could relive the past day, it was so wonderful.
graduating was such a weird experience, it was like i was playing dress up with a rather ugly black gown. and my family was so wonderful, it was so nice to spend time with all of them and see how proud they are of me. Im glad i could make them proud.
and then there is my beautiful boyfriend who drove all the way to see me graduate in a car on the verge of breaking down, and he left this morning and i just cant believe how fast it went by, now i wont see him for a little while and i feel like the past day weve grown even closer which is so unbelievable to experience. this relationship constantly surprises me in how it grows and changes, just when you think youre in love it becomes deeper and a new understanding of what love is surfaces. and God, do i love him, and i know he loves me.
and now i just cry and cry and cry because im all alone in this apartment trying to get out of here so ican go home and not be remined of the fun i had with him in the place ive hated for so long, i dont want to look at the couch where we watched tv, or the bed we slept in, or anything else! I just want to be home with people who love me....with anyone who loves me, or in kentucky but thats not possible.
i never thought anyone would love me like this. i didnt even believe love like this existed. i hate to not be able to live without someone. its so rough.
and i wishi could control my emotions somehow and i cant, and the fact that the clothes inthe dryer wont dry faster adn that there is another load waitinng to be dried and this is keeping me from going anywhere is just killing me right now and making me cry harder.
all of my support system is gone and i feel so alone, ugh these damn tears.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I know i have been so mia lately. I just cant believe the crazyness of life. I feel like this semester has been such a slack on my part. In every aspect. Looking back on the mono, and boyfriend, and classes...its just been a whirlwind. Im finishing with an all time low GPA, because I got a C in adult health (being the bubble mishap that happened) and an F in the compentency course because of the failed HESI...but that grade will be replaced when i take this course this summer. My gpa will take a dip but hopefully not too low because i really want to do grad school...but i can partition my way in if it dips too low. I guess i shouldnt really beat myself up about it, i cant change it now ....even if i wish i could. But wishing such things is a waste of time.
in actuality I am graduating tomorrow . I am done with my bachelors and undergraduate degree. This 5 year ride is over.
Last night we went on our nursing bar crawl in bg, which i did not over drink at because im my recent distaste of drunkness ....but i found myself so nystalgia and sad at the way things chance. Junction, the bar of my first 3 years, was closed. I spend every wednesday there for 3 years, at country night, drinking on the porch illigally, hiding the x's on my hands, and going to the bathroom to sneak beers i had piled into my purse, watching bands and meeting up with the alpha sigs with my favorite chi o girls. Making out with random boys on the porch, and eating the free hotdogs they served all summer, and we wont forget the time i made out with the bartender who gave me free pitches of beer, which were always taken away from me by the guys who looked out after Leah and I. And then we passed the ally we used to wait for each otehr when we got separated from the group, we passed the clocktower that we referred to as Big Ben, and MAC beach we sat on when there were fire alarms at our dorm, My sorority house which was both the worst and best times of my life, east merry where we chalked all over the boys porch, wooster street which is the place of all the best move in parties...its so sad that this is over . but its time to move on.
i still have no idea what im doing with my life. but im heavily considering moving to kentucky because of the job opening at the health department. But for summer i am going to be babysitting a 10 month old girl and a 4 year old girl for 3 days a week adn then in june for 5 days a week only 5 hours a day to give me time to study for teh hesi. We had a class meeting and it sounds like this class is going to be pretty intense. the quote frm the teacher was "you've been getting dessert, well im going to give you meat" but that makes me happy because i need something to challenge me thats going to actually work and have results.
im so exciting to see my family and mark tomorrow for graduation. sooooo excited! im sad that some people cant come because of work but they are always with me! and ill celebrate with them in my own time!
i think that pretty much sums up my feelings right now.
happy summer!
in actuality I am graduating tomorrow . I am done with my bachelors and undergraduate degree. This 5 year ride is over.
Last night we went on our nursing bar crawl in bg, which i did not over drink at because im my recent distaste of drunkness ....but i found myself so nystalgia and sad at the way things chance. Junction, the bar of my first 3 years, was closed. I spend every wednesday there for 3 years, at country night, drinking on the porch illigally, hiding the x's on my hands, and going to the bathroom to sneak beers i had piled into my purse, watching bands and meeting up with the alpha sigs with my favorite chi o girls. Making out with random boys on the porch, and eating the free hotdogs they served all summer, and we wont forget the time i made out with the bartender who gave me free pitches of beer, which were always taken away from me by the guys who looked out after Leah and I. And then we passed the ally we used to wait for each otehr when we got separated from the group, we passed the clocktower that we referred to as Big Ben, and MAC beach we sat on when there were fire alarms at our dorm, My sorority house which was both the worst and best times of my life, east merry where we chalked all over the boys porch, wooster street which is the place of all the best move in parties...its so sad that this is over . but its time to move on.
i still have no idea what im doing with my life. but im heavily considering moving to kentucky because of the job opening at the health department. But for summer i am going to be babysitting a 10 month old girl and a 4 year old girl for 3 days a week adn then in june for 5 days a week only 5 hours a day to give me time to study for teh hesi. We had a class meeting and it sounds like this class is going to be pretty intense. the quote frm the teacher was "you've been getting dessert, well im going to give you meat" but that makes me happy because i need something to challenge me thats going to actually work and have results.
im so exciting to see my family and mark tomorrow for graduation. sooooo excited! im sad that some people cant come because of work but they are always with me! and ill celebrate with them in my own time!
i think that pretty much sums up my feelings right now.
happy summer!
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