Returned

im back from all of my travels. it feels so weird to say that on vacation i literally went from one side of the country to the next.

Seattle was just as beautiful as everyone had said it would be. The greens were just that and the air had a freshness and clear feeling unlike ohio. I stayed in the hilton with my best friends and travelled on foot EVERYWHERE!! One day we walked three hours to find a lake, discovering that we took a bus to the wrong location. I left Seattle with bruises and blisters on both of my feet and headed on a plane to Myrtle Beach. The first day there I was in a complete funk being that I missed Seattle and my friends. I slept the entire day away on the beach. But after my mood improved (who can be upset when the ocean is right in front of you!) At one point when i was in the water, sting rays swam around me and through my legs! It was quite the experience! Needless to say, I had a fabulous relaxing quiet vacation with my family. I got to read the books that I brought (Twilight being one of those about a teenage girl that falls for a vampire, which sounds completely childish and rediculous but intriguing all the same!)

I sometimes have trouble with that side of the family ... being a child of a divorice Ive spent more days of my life with my mothers family than my fathers. Im close with my father and step mother....and with her family. However my dads family, ive always felt like I didnt have a place. They are very conservatice people. Having a glass of wine once in a blue moon, never setting foot into a bar, never imagining a world out there full of difference. I feel as though we dont know much about each other.

They dont know that I support Obama (they are STRICT republican), that i curse on occasion, that ive drink socially (and GASP get drunk), that I have hippie tendencies, pick my tarot cards, believe in The Secret, and am against the iraq war.

I prayed to feel a part of this family, to feel something, to find a place.

And as the thought left my mind and entered the vast space to heaven, my grandmother came from her bed to the living room where i was sleeping and kissed me goodnight. I smiled all the way through to my heart.

Even if im different, im still a part of the family after all.



Im so anxious about Nicaragua. My father has not given in a bit. He even went so far as to say he hopes i regret it, which i laughed off but it did hurt. I fired back a "im sorry im such a dissapointment" which i dont think really regestered within his mind.

I have an appointment to get my shots (Hep A, and typhoid...also starting malaria medication and getting pills/cream in case i get travellor's diarrhea or scabies, which both sound like a load of fun i can only imagine), I have a passport which came within a week surprisingly. I need to print some manuels off and get my letters sent out for donations. I cant believe its only 7 weeks away. I dont really know what to expect. I know this experience will change my life and I am so ready for that change to begin. I want to live that life that exists beyond my week in nicaragua.

The nursing home

With each day, i find myself stumbling upon a new person residing in the nursing home of which i am employed. With each person, I stumble upon a new story, a new life that has been lived. I am so anxious to share their stories with the world. At night, as I fall asleep I reimagine the events that took place, and the person it shaped and molded. Being that some of these people have mental illnessess, I cannot attest to how true and accurate the tellings are, but they still hold a unique beauty and wonder that cannot be argued. I want to tell those stories here...keeping the owner's identies secret, and entering my own thoughts and imaginings in places that holes lay or lie.

Ill start with my best old friend. In here, I will refer to her as Jenny. Jenny was married to a man for 18 years and had a child with him. One christmas day, Jennys husband told her he wanted a divorce and that he was having an affair and leaving to be with that woman. Jenny was heartbroken and devastated. She had been the typical housewive of the 50's and 60's. She considered her husband to be the love of her life. How could this man have been having an affair?
But Jenny survived. She even fell in love again to a wonderful man who was all the things her previous husband never even could dream of being. Jenny was with this man for 16 years. They lived together but never married. Jenny said he asked her every day to marry him, and every day she would say no....although she says he felt like more of a husband that her first marriage.
I'll finish her story later....

In two days I am leaving for Seattle. Im so excited to see a new place. I cannot wait to see a fish market and watch people toss fish to each other as though it was an acrobatic act. I can imagine the smell of fish and sea salt already.
From Seattle I am headed to Myrtle Beach with my father's family. Its the annual event. I havent participated in quite a few years and was fortunate enough to be able to take time off to attend this year. It will most likely be the last time. Since in exactly one year from now, after 5 wonderful years, I will be a college graduate, and entering a new world of adult living. Scary. Exciting. Bittersweet to think about....