Friday I was taking one of my infamous glorious naps. I was very cozy in my shabby chic comforter and blankets, about to enter my second REM cycle when I hear the doorbell. My first thought was damn mark probably forgot his keys again, so i reluctantly exit my bed and make my way downstairs (now, i should have known this wasnt mark, because Mark rings the doorbell like 50 times in a row out of the sheer pleasure of annoying me, but alas i digress.)
Im looking hott to, let me tell you...totally rocking the comfy clothes and messy bun and im sure my makeup from earlier is smeared all over my face now that ive been napping...but i open the door, intending it to be mark ....
and surprise its not mark...
who is it you ask???
THESE GUYS:
yes backpack and all, i can tell they are taken back by my obvious stunning good looks as they start their schpeal about the church they are from and then they ask me...."do you know Jesus Christ"........
and as bad as i want to just slamm the door, i feel bad..because isnt that kind of like slamming the door in Jesus's face....
so instead i calmly reply yes i am in fact down with G - O -D and Im catholic....and i expect the man to say okay thank you for your time, but oh no, mr backpack (which has to be empty because what could he possibly need in that thing that isnt in his hand/pocket already) starts to explain the difference in churches to me....like dude, seriously? its like 80 degrees and your wearing a button up long sleeve, long black pants, and a tie....im sure you feel you are doing the right thing but my God that i pray to...he doesnt punish.
somehow he gets the picture as im slowly closing the door ...and he leaves....
after he leaves I start laughing to myself thinking of the halloween my jr year of college when my friends and i ran into someone dressed as a door to door religion salesman at a party...my best friend in her drunken stupor began to swing her gold shovel (she was a gold digger) at this man in defense as he chased us around the party with his books (he took the role a little too seriously) ....I like to think God has a sense of humour too!
But now really dudes, i mean come on...how many people do they seriously convert harrassing people from their sleep like that?? and even if it did work...dont they know the mass quantities of people that make fun of them? its aweful! but how come NO OTHER RELIGION besides the mormons and jehovahs do this??? i mean really...of the hundreds and thousands of religions we know of, who else does this? when is the last time someone came to your house and asked you if you accepted Buddha into your life???
moral of the story is...yes i love Jesus, but if you interrupt my precious and rare sleep I will bring out the swinging gold shovel.
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