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This past weekend, i slept in until 1, woke up and went back to bed around 2, got up again at 5:30/6 and went back to bed about 11/12 and repeated. for 3 days. it was glorious ....i felt so much better entering this week of classes with an extra day off, but then today i felt sick again....i wish i had a needle syringe that i could insert into my lymph nodes to drain the fluid that has them so swollen, that seems to be the only solution.
other than that life is pretty peachy keen. Im still planning on heading to kentucky this weekend to see boyfriend, and we are getting a puppy! im so excited. i have tons of work to get done to have a weekend ofplay, thankfully wed. are my free day.
Im going to dinner with kate tonight, which im so looking forward to, this girl and i share an old soul and truly if anyone understands me and listens without judgement its her.
its a unique thing.
ive been thinking a lot of the story we are fed as children in terms of love. Girls grow up reading Cinderella, Snow White, The Little Mermaid. That whole "someday my prince will come" but prince isnt someone who grows up in a castle about to become king searching high and low for his princess who is treated horribly by somoene in her own world and needs rescuing. this fairy tale is adapted that all girls end up with this rediculous expectation of men. That in his 20's he will be good looking, dashing, a gentlemen from a rich family in a 200-300,000 home with married parents and a loving family that has no kinks, and everyone has those perfect corporate jobs that they love and this man has never touched anything that we deam as inappropriate, in fact he has never made a mistake, he lives life perfectly, with purpose and determination, always knowing exactly what he wants, never cries, never gets scared, never has drama....he drives the car, has the bank account, gives you gifts, puts up with your crap, and has a plan for his life always, and it never goes wrong...
i admit i had fallen to this. but now i open my eyes and realize that this expectation for a human is rediculous, we are at the very core a fallible human being who will make mistakes and will learn and grow from them.
we have to be understanding that not everyones past is a fairy tale, everyone has some skeletons in teh closet, no one has lived a perfect life. Poor men, who have to live up to some rediculous expectation. (but i know girls do to, dont forget i am feminist)
so if im dating someone that not everyone thinks has his life put together, that people think i can do better, that maybe he isnt perfect well my answer is, nobody is perfect and when you can appreciate that fact in others, then you are truly in love.
no one has there lives figured out. ask a 60 year old man what he wants to do wit his life and chances are it isnt what hes doing, and if it is then bless than man and let him tell me his secret.
my mom always says "when i grow up i want to be....."
my megan always says "this is NOT my career, its just my job"
we do what he can to get by, we dont always have it all figured out, and maybe we arent supposed to
because i read this book and it said that we cant constantly worry about the future, we have to let the future take care of its self because it hasnt happened yet, so to worry about something that hasnt even happened, and to make scenerios adn what we will do in each of those, our response to each of those, is silly...because it doesnt even exist yet.
i like that approach and i am going to adapt it into my own life

for all we have is this moment, and this moment is your life. so live it.

p.s. there really was no thread through these thoughts, just rambling about things on my mind.