ITs 2:37 on a saturday, possibly my second to last in cleveland for a while as i have made the decision to accept the job in frankfort, KY and will be reporting for my first day of orientation on sept 14th. I cannot believe this!!! Im so excited and ready to start my nursing career on a ICU step down floor...after i am completely on my own and doing well i will be cross trained for the ICU as well since these 2 floors work together. This hospital is amazing! it is run entirely by nurses and it is completely dedicated to enforcing nurses to go back to school, become accrediated and specialists and gives tuition reimbursement as well as grade incentives and it has a clinical ladder program that gives you a large large bonus based on your involvement in the hospital, education, and research adn many other thinga available to you in the community and hopsital. there is a nursing banquet once a year that awards nurses for there hard work, offering awards and scholarships from physicians and nurses and hospital boards. Every person i ahve met at this hospital seems to have the exact same personality as me. I coulnt be more excited! I will be working nights after my orientation which is days. The orientation process can last anywhere from 8 - 12 weeks and it is completely up to my comfort on when it is over, Once a week i will have meetings with the manager, my preceptor and the nurse educator of my floor to go over my stengths, weaknesses adn growth and map out my progess and once i am ready i will be moved to nights. these floors emphasize teamwork so i will never ever be on my own or feel lost! everyone works together and it seems like everyone loves to work here. I am so happy that i am blessed enough to be in such a working environment. It will be so strange to be away from home. I can tell my family is less than thrilled with this and nto ready to let me go,. But its a nursing schedule where i will be wokring 3 12's a week which leaves me plenty of opportunites to come home, and i plan on doing so once a month! im a family girl, i could never leave for long. and i will be able to come home a lot more that i did in college which really was a rare occurance! Im so ready to begin this chapter of my life although i am scared to death adn will probably want to come home eveyr day until i am aquianted with it.
marks grandma told me i should keep a journal of my changes as they come adn how different it will be for me, city girl moving to the country...well sort of! i plan on getting an apartment in lexington which is a bigger city! but the country is near! i happened to go with marks mom and grandma to the farm and i worked in the garden with them as they showed me how to pick beans and squash and tomatoes...they are also growing watermelons and pumpkins which are sooooo big its unbelievable!
Well now i am off to church with nana and mom. Im a little scared to see nana because i know she has to be upset that i am leaving, and i think she thinks its a personal attack that i am leaving "her". I cant help feel like everyone things i am dying the way they are treating me ..."one last time" seems to be a constant phrase these days...but i know once things get into a pattern it will feel normal and it will be like it always was.....there are a lot of mixed emotions going on but i know Gods will is prevailing as i have prayed and prayed it will. I feel like this is the right thing to do . hopefully everyone can see that too. I will shine.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Interview 1 : At the nursing home I was interviewed by the new DON ...well new since i was there, not the same one that was hired on at the end of my summer job. Almost everyone that i had worked with that i liked had been "let go" or fired. It was odd. the DON told me she jsut got her BSN a year ago, which was odd. I jsut dont think it was the place for me, she told me they didnt have a position available at the moment but she saw one being available in a month and to call when i pass boards. so there is a job there for me, but do i really want to work somewhere where people are constantly being let go? Betty seemed really excited about it. as did shirley...Shirley has been very sick lately, she cried when she saw me, she is thin as a rail and hasnt been eating. It makes me so sad to see her. i hope she is okay! i just think she is the sweetest thing in the world. i think she was happy to see me! i need to get back and see her again because something tells me time is limited.
interview 2: I had an interview in KY at a hospital that Mark's sister works at. My interview went well. I met with the HR recruiter and he was so much fun. It really felt like i was meeting with friends, totally down to earth, i didnt feel like it was an uptight scary thing. I was totally at ease. However, the hospital / state was in the middle of a disaster drill so Brandon, the recruiter couldnt interview me fully. So he had his partner in HR finish the interview. I luckily was still able to meet with the Nurse manager of the Labor/ Delivery floor and she was really nice. Everyone seemed really impressed withmy resume which ihad been doubting lately was good enough or too long. But they all said it was impressive so that eased my doubts. She said seh really liked me and wanted to hire me on but they only had 2 openings in the night shift which was already really young. She said shed be meeting with her managers and try and see if theyd let her. Well that interview ended up lasting 2 hours much to the dismay of my bf who was waiting the car at my pleading. I didnt know it would be so long but he got a nap in. Lucky, We had both been up all night with his son who was teething and in pain. So Im lucky this interview went well when my brain wasnt functioning so well.
I heard back frm brandon and they werent allowed to hire me on to the Labor and delivery floor, but brandon is sending my resume to other floors...they seemed really impressed with me and i really loved this hospital, I really felt like id fit in there!
I had a call from a hospital in cincinnati out of no where which was awesome! Its for a brand new hospital that just opened up last may! its a med surg job which isnt what i really want to do but thats okay because itll give me experience and then i can switch into whatever i would like. I pulled some answers out of my butt because iwas totally caught off guard with the phone interview. The nurse recruiter is out of town until next wed. so they are going to call me back next week to schedule an interview!
Finally all these doors are opening up to me! and im getting my new car later today! its about time! I just hope i land a job in the best possible place that i need to be. Im still trying to get into a cleveland interview as well, i contacted the secretary at my cousins office and she is going to call me back, hopefully she will know of something. I keep trying to get into cleveland clinic or something around here but its been difficult. it hink the cleveland market is still tight so we shall see!
i wholeheartedly believe God will place me where I need to be! just looking forward to where that might be!
As far as my authorization to test, im waiting for that. i just got my name up on the site as registered to test so any day now i should get my att in the email or mail! Im so ready to get that behind me and sign my name Molly Imler rn, Bsn!!!
well this weekend is the feast and the berea fair, so im looking forward to attending both. Ive been sick all week! its been terrible, i just started some antibiotics and they are killing my stomach causing intense nausea which isnt fun at all. But im starting to feel better regardless of this little irritant!
Mark started his full time job this week, hes really turning into an adult and im sooo proud of him! he may be getting a new(used)car on monday and hes really excited about it. Ive been spending a lot of time down there, hopping around. I went with his mother to the 127 yard sale which runs from alabama to ohio..it was pretty amazing, definitely some buys! I missed my great grandma Mom Imler...so many of the things were things that she had or would of had! like the old fashioned egg beater with the handle that you turn...but it was fun! Mark and i helped his neighbor set up there sale since their neighborhood is right off of 127. he ended up getting many good steals! he still wants me to move in with him which id consider if i move down there but i dont know exactly if thats what i want jsut yet. i mean i love him and when imn there i practically am living with him, but i still think id like to know what its like to live on my own...and i always thought id want to get married first before ilive with a guy but i really love mark ...so well see! i dont really need to worry about this until i have a job which is what i keep telling him. one day at a time!
interview 2: I had an interview in KY at a hospital that Mark's sister works at. My interview went well. I met with the HR recruiter and he was so much fun. It really felt like i was meeting with friends, totally down to earth, i didnt feel like it was an uptight scary thing. I was totally at ease. However, the hospital / state was in the middle of a disaster drill so Brandon, the recruiter couldnt interview me fully. So he had his partner in HR finish the interview. I luckily was still able to meet with the Nurse manager of the Labor/ Delivery floor and she was really nice. Everyone seemed really impressed withmy resume which ihad been doubting lately was good enough or too long. But they all said it was impressive so that eased my doubts. She said seh really liked me and wanted to hire me on but they only had 2 openings in the night shift which was already really young. She said shed be meeting with her managers and try and see if theyd let her. Well that interview ended up lasting 2 hours much to the dismay of my bf who was waiting the car at my pleading. I didnt know it would be so long but he got a nap in. Lucky, We had both been up all night with his son who was teething and in pain. So Im lucky this interview went well when my brain wasnt functioning so well.
I heard back frm brandon and they werent allowed to hire me on to the Labor and delivery floor, but brandon is sending my resume to other floors...they seemed really impressed with me and i really loved this hospital, I really felt like id fit in there!
I had a call from a hospital in cincinnati out of no where which was awesome! Its for a brand new hospital that just opened up last may! its a med surg job which isnt what i really want to do but thats okay because itll give me experience and then i can switch into whatever i would like. I pulled some answers out of my butt because iwas totally caught off guard with the phone interview. The nurse recruiter is out of town until next wed. so they are going to call me back next week to schedule an interview!
Finally all these doors are opening up to me! and im getting my new car later today! its about time! I just hope i land a job in the best possible place that i need to be. Im still trying to get into a cleveland interview as well, i contacted the secretary at my cousins office and she is going to call me back, hopefully she will know of something. I keep trying to get into cleveland clinic or something around here but its been difficult. it hink the cleveland market is still tight so we shall see!
i wholeheartedly believe God will place me where I need to be! just looking forward to where that might be!
As far as my authorization to test, im waiting for that. i just got my name up on the site as registered to test so any day now i should get my att in the email or mail! Im so ready to get that behind me and sign my name Molly Imler rn, Bsn!!!
well this weekend is the feast and the berea fair, so im looking forward to attending both. Ive been sick all week! its been terrible, i just started some antibiotics and they are killing my stomach causing intense nausea which isnt fun at all. But im starting to feel better regardless of this little irritant!
Mark started his full time job this week, hes really turning into an adult and im sooo proud of him! he may be getting a new(used)car on monday and hes really excited about it. Ive been spending a lot of time down there, hopping around. I went with his mother to the 127 yard sale which runs from alabama to ohio..it was pretty amazing, definitely some buys! I missed my great grandma Mom Imler...so many of the things were things that she had or would of had! like the old fashioned egg beater with the handle that you turn...but it was fun! Mark and i helped his neighbor set up there sale since their neighborhood is right off of 127. he ended up getting many good steals! he still wants me to move in with him which id consider if i move down there but i dont know exactly if thats what i want jsut yet. i mean i love him and when imn there i practically am living with him, but i still think id like to know what its like to live on my own...and i always thought id want to get married first before ilive with a guy but i really love mark ...so well see! i dont really need to worry about this until i have a job which is what i keep telling him. one day at a time!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
car shopping is stressful
dad makes it even more so because so many factors have to align just perfectly to make him happy.
Today we test drove an 07 kia spectra at a local used car lot. I loved it. It has a few stains on the seats, some dirtyness to the dashboard, but other than that its beautiful. Dad complained he could hear air noise on the driver side, i didnt hear anything but after driving the neon which sounds like a hurricaine is going on outside while in operation, its a dream. We are waiting for the loan to go through on monday and then the car is mine and i can pick it up!
im very exciting but nervous at the same time. I have this car and a 5 year contract to make payments each month. It will be good to build up my credit but i cant help but feel a bit apprehensive. This is a big responsibility that felt like it was years and years away and now here it is. Im so grateful i have a father who is able to help me get my life started.
Every time i see him eh tells me to get a job, which i am trying depserately to do. i have an interview at the nursing home i used to work at on monday, pretty excited a bout this,. i have my doubts t hough, my nursing mentor told me that its not a good idea to get started into a nursing home, and i worry about getting stuck in the older market, what i want is pediatrics and its so hard to get into and med/surg experience is needed but i dont know how theyd feel about nursing home experience. i guess its a job though.
Its not in kentucky or cinci which is really where i want to go. I dont have any friends in cleveland and i love my family but im young and what am i going to do with my free time here? i guess i can always hit the road and visit. But as my relationship grows its becomes increasingly difficult to live without the one you love on a daily basis. He is in so many ways my future but its so hard to wait for it to happen. I worry about the test this will place on us.... but then again this is a temporary thing, to make money.
we shall see how it goes. Ikeep saying that God will place me exactly where i need to be and i have to continue to trust that.
dad makes it even more so because so many factors have to align just perfectly to make him happy.
Today we test drove an 07 kia spectra at a local used car lot. I loved it. It has a few stains on the seats, some dirtyness to the dashboard, but other than that its beautiful. Dad complained he could hear air noise on the driver side, i didnt hear anything but after driving the neon which sounds like a hurricaine is going on outside while in operation, its a dream. We are waiting for the loan to go through on monday and then the car is mine and i can pick it up!
im very exciting but nervous at the same time. I have this car and a 5 year contract to make payments each month. It will be good to build up my credit but i cant help but feel a bit apprehensive. This is a big responsibility that felt like it was years and years away and now here it is. Im so grateful i have a father who is able to help me get my life started.
Every time i see him eh tells me to get a job, which i am trying depserately to do. i have an interview at the nursing home i used to work at on monday, pretty excited a bout this,. i have my doubts t hough, my nursing mentor told me that its not a good idea to get started into a nursing home, and i worry about getting stuck in the older market, what i want is pediatrics and its so hard to get into and med/surg experience is needed but i dont know how theyd feel about nursing home experience. i guess its a job though.
Its not in kentucky or cinci which is really where i want to go. I dont have any friends in cleveland and i love my family but im young and what am i going to do with my free time here? i guess i can always hit the road and visit. But as my relationship grows its becomes increasingly difficult to live without the one you love on a daily basis. He is in so many ways my future but its so hard to wait for it to happen. I worry about the test this will place on us.... but then again this is a temporary thing, to make money.
we shall see how it goes. Ikeep saying that God will place me exactly where i need to be and i have to continue to trust that.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The wedding on saturday was probably the most beautiful wedding ill ever go to. Sarah was absolutely beautiful, she looked as though she belonged in a bridal magazine. It was so evident that these two truly loved each other. I credit them for changing my pessimistic and cynical views on love.
my uncle married them and taked alot about the Bible and what it says on marriage. He spoke of Genesis, the beginning, when God created the world he made man and for the first time said "it was not good" because man was alone. He fastened Eve for Adam , who was like him. He created someone to make this relationship and love to reflect how God loves us so that we could feel it and become one with one person and create a life with them. He said that there is this one person for us created to reflect God, to show us his love. I thought this was beautiful.
That God so loved us to give this love to us is amazing. to reflect his love. To make us better people.
The reception was beautiful as well, alcohol free but a lot of fun regardless... we had party favors of playing cards because Tad does magic tricks with them and bot h sarah and tad love to play games...i thought this was a unique gift.
it was held at the masonic temple , the servers were all older men , i had ordered lasagna and the man, with his hands shaking, gave me chicken, so i didnt tell him it was the wrong plate, i didnt have it in my heart! i just ate the chicken!
i ended up catching the bouquet!!! which was a fun event, ive never caught the bouquet before!. I danced with my daddy and family and new friends and just had a wonderful time!
It was a great set up to pass the HESI on monday which i totally didnt think i wouild be able to do. I had studied after the rehearsal dinner at the hotel, and while i was getting my hair done, and all day sunday. i cried a lot on monday, including a few times during the exam because i jsut didnt feel as thought it was going well. i was in a office by myself which did take a bit of the stress off, and i took many breaks, never looked at the time. at the end it took me over 3 hours and after i hit the final question i covered my eyes and didnt want to look at my score w hich i was sure was not good! but i passed it!! with a 917!! such a relief!!! Dr. batten hugged me and it felt so good to be done with this chapter in my life.
now comes the job hunt and trying to figure out where to move which is bringing a lot of pressure to me from a lot of people to move certain places. i just need to leave it up to God, i trust that where i get the job is where i belong....
its just proof that things do work out in time! just keep on smiling and trucking along!!
yesterday with my first free day of no studying i went to the pool,. read a book that was completely mindless with no point or serious topic that i havent read in a while, and it was wonderful although now my face and chest and shoulders are bright pink!!! now i start the job search, clothing organzing, room organzing, getting everything done that i put off for a month or 2 while i studied....its wonderful! although still weird! =) ill start studying again on monday but not as intensley in order to keep in the game for when i take the NCLEX In a month or so!
yay!
my uncle married them and taked alot about the Bible and what it says on marriage. He spoke of Genesis, the beginning, when God created the world he made man and for the first time said "it was not good" because man was alone. He fastened Eve for Adam , who was like him. He created someone to make this relationship and love to reflect how God loves us so that we could feel it and become one with one person and create a life with them. He said that there is this one person for us created to reflect God, to show us his love. I thought this was beautiful.
That God so loved us to give this love to us is amazing. to reflect his love. To make us better people.
The reception was beautiful as well, alcohol free but a lot of fun regardless... we had party favors of playing cards because Tad does magic tricks with them and bot h sarah and tad love to play games...i thought this was a unique gift.
it was held at the masonic temple , the servers were all older men , i had ordered lasagna and the man, with his hands shaking, gave me chicken, so i didnt tell him it was the wrong plate, i didnt have it in my heart! i just ate the chicken!
i ended up catching the bouquet!!! which was a fun event, ive never caught the bouquet before!. I danced with my daddy and family and new friends and just had a wonderful time!
It was a great set up to pass the HESI on monday which i totally didnt think i wouild be able to do. I had studied after the rehearsal dinner at the hotel, and while i was getting my hair done, and all day sunday. i cried a lot on monday, including a few times during the exam because i jsut didnt feel as thought it was going well. i was in a office by myself which did take a bit of the stress off, and i took many breaks, never looked at the time. at the end it took me over 3 hours and after i hit the final question i covered my eyes and didnt want to look at my score w hich i was sure was not good! but i passed it!! with a 917!! such a relief!!! Dr. batten hugged me and it felt so good to be done with this chapter in my life.
now comes the job hunt and trying to figure out where to move which is bringing a lot of pressure to me from a lot of people to move certain places. i just need to leave it up to God, i trust that where i get the job is where i belong....
its just proof that things do work out in time! just keep on smiling and trucking along!!
yesterday with my first free day of no studying i went to the pool,. read a book that was completely mindless with no point or serious topic that i havent read in a while, and it was wonderful although now my face and chest and shoulders are bright pink!!! now i start the job search, clothing organzing, room organzing, getting everything done that i put off for a month or 2 while i studied....its wonderful! although still weird! =) ill start studying again on monday but not as intensley in order to keep in the game for when i take the NCLEX In a month or so!
yay!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
the other day i went to walmart to get self tanner (because i want to be tan for the wedding this weekend, and i dont want skin cancer or burn)...anyways...the lines are so long so i just pick the one with the self scanner since i only have one item...
and then my weirdo radar goes off...
a man , quite possible an albino man, near the age of 67 ish ?? i say that lightly because he could very well be much younger but just look older...comes over and loudly announce :HEY HEY HEY THIS LINE OVER HEAR IS OPEN:
he's looking right at me...wait, no, he might not be...he has a one lazy eye so im not quite sure...but wait yes he is motioning to me...
of course i want to get out of walmart as fast as i can, and i fear the reprecussions if i do not follow this man to the open lane....did i mention he is a customer too, hes not a employee...
so im now behind him in lane, I watch as he places 2 4-pack Snack-Pack puddings on the conveyer belt...he then proclaims "THESE ARE A GREAT DEAL, 1$ EACH, I LOVE THEM, IM GETTING VANILLA HERE, AND TAPIOCA AND I ATE A CHOCOLATE ONE ALREADY AT HOME, YOU SHOULD GET THESE"
smile and nod, smile and nod.
but this doesnt stop him, he continues.
"LET ME MAKE SURE I HAVE MONEY FOR THIS, DAMN I HAVE TO HAVE A DOLLER"...he pulls out a wad of cash ..."TEN TWENTY THIRTY, SIXTY, I HAVE SIXTY, I THOUGHT I LEARNED MY LESSON, NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH THAT MUCH CASH BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO OUT, GET HIGH ON MARIJUANA, AND GO TO THE STORE, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU ATE 6 BAGS OF LAYS CHIPS AND DRANK A 2 LITER OF COKE"...
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
"SO WHAT ARE YOU BUYING THERE??"
I show him the label and tell him its sunless tanner
"WHAT?"
"sunless tanner."
"HELL YOU NEED THAT THE WEATHER HAS BEEN SO SHITTY"
"well, i dont want skin cancer."
"SMART GIRL, IM OUT ON MY BOAT EVERYDAY, I LIVE IN A HOUSE BOUT AT SOUTH BASS ISLAND DURING THE SUMMER, SOME PEOPLE CALL IT PUT IN BAY"
"oh yes."
He has now finished paying ...and is couting his change, as i am paying for mine, he waits for me...
he tried to walk out with me..."IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU" i turn and say you too, and then i RUN RUN RUN out the door...afraid hed follow me to my car and try to kidnap me or something....
you definitely meet the most unique people at walmart.
and then my weirdo radar goes off...
a man , quite possible an albino man, near the age of 67 ish ?? i say that lightly because he could very well be much younger but just look older...comes over and loudly announce :HEY HEY HEY THIS LINE OVER HEAR IS OPEN:
he's looking right at me...wait, no, he might not be...he has a one lazy eye so im not quite sure...but wait yes he is motioning to me...
of course i want to get out of walmart as fast as i can, and i fear the reprecussions if i do not follow this man to the open lane....did i mention he is a customer too, hes not a employee...
so im now behind him in lane, I watch as he places 2 4-pack Snack-Pack puddings on the conveyer belt...he then proclaims "THESE ARE A GREAT DEAL, 1$ EACH, I LOVE THEM, IM GETTING VANILLA HERE, AND TAPIOCA AND I ATE A CHOCOLATE ONE ALREADY AT HOME, YOU SHOULD GET THESE"
smile and nod, smile and nod.
but this doesnt stop him, he continues.
"LET ME MAKE SURE I HAVE MONEY FOR THIS, DAMN I HAVE TO HAVE A DOLLER"...he pulls out a wad of cash ..."TEN TWENTY THIRTY, SIXTY, I HAVE SIXTY, I THOUGHT I LEARNED MY LESSON, NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH THAT MUCH CASH BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO OUT, GET HIGH ON MARIJUANA, AND GO TO THE STORE, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU ATE 6 BAGS OF LAYS CHIPS AND DRANK A 2 LITER OF COKE"...
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
"SO WHAT ARE YOU BUYING THERE??"
I show him the label and tell him its sunless tanner
"WHAT?"
"sunless tanner."
"HELL YOU NEED THAT THE WEATHER HAS BEEN SO SHITTY"
"well, i dont want skin cancer."
"SMART GIRL, IM OUT ON MY BOAT EVERYDAY, I LIVE IN A HOUSE BOUT AT SOUTH BASS ISLAND DURING THE SUMMER, SOME PEOPLE CALL IT PUT IN BAY"
"oh yes."
He has now finished paying ...and is couting his change, as i am paying for mine, he waits for me...
he tried to walk out with me..."IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU" i turn and say you too, and then i RUN RUN RUN out the door...afraid hed follow me to my car and try to kidnap me or something....
you definitely meet the most unique people at walmart.
Monday, June 29, 2009
when it rains it pours..i feel like this year is just a big "lets take a huge shit on molly and see how much she can handle before we have to involuntarily commit her"...i guess thats a little harsh but seriously the day warrents it considering.
yesterday i went to grafton to see my uncle who is away at "college" aka prison because of something i dont think warrants arrest (drug addiction). It was the first time I had seen him in over a year, and it was so wonderful, and eerie . He looked good! Not to upset since he isnt actually in prison but a working camp they put some inmantes in...where they work on this farm that the state owns. So he has more liberty and freedom and less rules but its not exactly the most wonderful place to be. Still seemed dark and dirty to me ....no air conditions, really hot. Anyways the room reminded me of an old gym in a catholic school, really tiny with that nasty yellow tile all around and yellow brick painted over with that shiny cover and fans and just dark dark dark, completely depressing. the cop told me and my nana to go to table 11....and the tables were not clearly marked but my uncle showed us the way...i sat at the head of the table and got yelled at because apparently the head seat is reserved for inmate use only? so i moved and then i notice that a women is filling up these vending machines. My nana hands me some change and gives me directions. Apparently this is quite the event.my uncle tells me that i have to get the pizza sub because its the only good thing...im confused by this because i didnt even know it was possible to get such food out of a machine, that just sounds disgusting. Well i get up, apprach the machines , and notice that apparently 30 or so other people are also doing the same....i felt like a parent at christmas trying to get a damn tickle me elmo...people breathing down my neck in line, waiting to see what im getting, how long itll take me, just rushing everyone along....i felt this anxiety to get a pizza sub from a vending machine...the guy next to me, in frnt of my mom is gettign wings....yes wings, he has about 8 bags stacked above the machine, and he jsut keeps going for more...this was crazy....i refused to go back up the machines after that....
but the visit was good, i felt feeling dirty, sad, and just completely and overwhelmingly tired.
so i went to bed last night, fully intending on being in a coma until late today, when i heard the maintenance man, whom i despise for good reason. Hes coming into my apartment to fix the huge hole he left for us when he moved our surge box....i send a telepathic message to Joey to bite his ankle....
so im still tired all day, pass out for a nap, go to nana's later for dinner, and realize my car is overheating...so i put some coolant in at Nana's
on the way back to my apt...it starts overheating again which is bizarre because of the coolant...so i start freaking out...im pretty close to home, so im wondering if i should just chance it, but then again i dont want to blow up....i pull over at the bank and then think is hould call my mom but my phone is deead because i left my charger at my dads last week......so im screwed...i put the hood up adn start flailing my arms on the side of York Rd. hoping my mom will drive by and see me,...which she does! she comes, picks me up and takes me back to the apt to call a shop...the shop up the street wont be able to look at it until thursday, maybe...not good for me...so we call another one farther away b ut this means ill have to have it towed...i arrange all this, the tow man tells me to put the key under the mat....and then i think, oh no, where is that key,.....and low and behold, in my frantic state, i locked my keys in the car.
mom grabs a wire hanger and we go back to the car...meet the tow man there...and he laughs at us trying tog et it with a wire, this nice man unlocked it for free. and he took my precious red baby away....(i hate that car, but i need to speak lovingly because she is all i have)
so now im carless...and im supposed to go to kentuckt this weekend. now if i was a normal person, if life didnt like kicking me in the ass and laughing at me...i wouldnt be worrying about this. becauese i would of passed the hesi, would have passed my boards, i would have a job, and i would have a new car that doesnt break down every 2 weeks, and life would probably be a whole lot nicer.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
needless to say, my scores are not improving, i do not feel i have learned anything through this class, i am completely unconfident, and considering new career options....but im taking the HESI on july 13th. desperately need a miracle....
i really am trying to be faithful, the have confidence....but i had boht those things the last 2 times and it didnt work so why would it now???
i know life could be a lot worse, and i should count my blessings ...i do know that...i know im a total debbie downer, but really i could use a freaking break...
if i pass this damn test, my life would improve 82307t58295727527387572857 percent.
how if only it could happen,.
im seriously considering paying a genious to do it for me....
yesterday i went to grafton to see my uncle who is away at "college" aka prison because of something i dont think warrants arrest (drug addiction). It was the first time I had seen him in over a year, and it was so wonderful, and eerie . He looked good! Not to upset since he isnt actually in prison but a working camp they put some inmantes in...where they work on this farm that the state owns. So he has more liberty and freedom and less rules but its not exactly the most wonderful place to be. Still seemed dark and dirty to me ....no air conditions, really hot. Anyways the room reminded me of an old gym in a catholic school, really tiny with that nasty yellow tile all around and yellow brick painted over with that shiny cover and fans and just dark dark dark, completely depressing. the cop told me and my nana to go to table 11....and the tables were not clearly marked but my uncle showed us the way...i sat at the head of the table and got yelled at because apparently the head seat is reserved for inmate use only? so i moved and then i notice that a women is filling up these vending machines. My nana hands me some change and gives me directions. Apparently this is quite the event.my uncle tells me that i have to get the pizza sub because its the only good thing...im confused by this because i didnt even know it was possible to get such food out of a machine, that just sounds disgusting. Well i get up, apprach the machines , and notice that apparently 30 or so other people are also doing the same....i felt like a parent at christmas trying to get a damn tickle me elmo...people breathing down my neck in line, waiting to see what im getting, how long itll take me, just rushing everyone along....i felt this anxiety to get a pizza sub from a vending machine...the guy next to me, in frnt of my mom is gettign wings....yes wings, he has about 8 bags stacked above the machine, and he jsut keeps going for more...this was crazy....i refused to go back up the machines after that....
but the visit was good, i felt feeling dirty, sad, and just completely and overwhelmingly tired.
so i went to bed last night, fully intending on being in a coma until late today, when i heard the maintenance man, whom i despise for good reason. Hes coming into my apartment to fix the huge hole he left for us when he moved our surge box....i send a telepathic message to Joey to bite his ankle....
so im still tired all day, pass out for a nap, go to nana's later for dinner, and realize my car is overheating...so i put some coolant in at Nana's
on the way back to my apt...it starts overheating again which is bizarre because of the coolant...so i start freaking out...im pretty close to home, so im wondering if i should just chance it, but then again i dont want to blow up....i pull over at the bank and then think is hould call my mom but my phone is deead because i left my charger at my dads last week......so im screwed...i put the hood up adn start flailing my arms on the side of York Rd. hoping my mom will drive by and see me,...which she does! she comes, picks me up and takes me back to the apt to call a shop...the shop up the street wont be able to look at it until thursday, maybe...not good for me...so we call another one farther away b ut this means ill have to have it towed...i arrange all this, the tow man tells me to put the key under the mat....and then i think, oh no, where is that key,.....and low and behold, in my frantic state, i locked my keys in the car.
mom grabs a wire hanger and we go back to the car...meet the tow man there...and he laughs at us trying tog et it with a wire, this nice man unlocked it for free. and he took my precious red baby away....(i hate that car, but i need to speak lovingly because she is all i have)
so now im carless...and im supposed to go to kentuckt this weekend. now if i was a normal person, if life didnt like kicking me in the ass and laughing at me...i wouldnt be worrying about this. becauese i would of passed the hesi, would have passed my boards, i would have a job, and i would have a new car that doesnt break down every 2 weeks, and life would probably be a whole lot nicer.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
needless to say, my scores are not improving, i do not feel i have learned anything through this class, i am completely unconfident, and considering new career options....but im taking the HESI on july 13th. desperately need a miracle....
i really am trying to be faithful, the have confidence....but i had boht those things the last 2 times and it didnt work so why would it now???
i know life could be a lot worse, and i should count my blessings ...i do know that...i know im a total debbie downer, but really i could use a freaking break...
if i pass this damn test, my life would improve 82307t58295727527387572857 percent.
how if only it could happen,.
im seriously considering paying a genious to do it for me....
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