the other day i went to walmart to get self tanner (because i want to be tan for the wedding this weekend, and i dont want skin cancer or burn)...anyways...the lines are so long so i just pick the one with the self scanner since i only have one item...

and then my weirdo radar goes off...

a man , quite possible an albino man, near the age of 67 ish ?? i say that lightly because he could very well be much younger but just look older...comes over and loudly announce :HEY HEY HEY THIS LINE OVER HEAR IS OPEN:

he's looking right at me...wait, no, he might not be...he has a one lazy eye so im not quite sure...but wait yes he is motioning to me...
of course i want to get out of walmart as fast as i can, and i fear the reprecussions if i do not follow this man to the open lane....did i mention he is a customer too, hes not a employee...

so im now behind him in lane, I watch as he places 2 4-pack Snack-Pack puddings on the conveyer belt...he then proclaims "THESE ARE A GREAT DEAL, 1$ EACH, I LOVE THEM, IM GETTING VANILLA HERE, AND TAPIOCA AND I ATE A CHOCOLATE ONE ALREADY AT HOME, YOU SHOULD GET THESE"

smile and nod, smile and nod.

but this doesnt stop him, he continues.

"LET ME MAKE SURE I HAVE MONEY FOR THIS, DAMN I HAVE TO HAVE A DOLLER"...he pulls out a wad of cash ..."TEN TWENTY THIRTY, SIXTY, I HAVE SIXTY, I THOUGHT I LEARNED MY LESSON, NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH THAT MUCH CASH BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO OUT, GET HIGH ON MARIJUANA, AND GO TO THE STORE, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU ATE 6 BAGS OF LAYS CHIPS AND DRANK A 2 LITER OF COKE"...

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"SO WHAT ARE YOU BUYING THERE??"

I show him the label and tell him its sunless tanner

"WHAT?"

"sunless tanner."

"HELL YOU NEED THAT THE WEATHER HAS BEEN SO SHITTY"

"well, i dont want skin cancer."

"SMART GIRL, IM OUT ON MY BOAT EVERYDAY, I LIVE IN A HOUSE BOUT AT SOUTH BASS ISLAND DURING THE SUMMER, SOME PEOPLE CALL IT PUT IN BAY"

"oh yes."

He has now finished paying ...and is couting his change, as i am paying for mine, he waits for me...

he tried to walk out with me..."IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU" i turn and say you too, and then i RUN RUN RUN out the door...afraid hed follow me to my car and try to kidnap me or something....

you definitely meet the most unique people at walmart.