i cant stop crying,
i wish i could relive the past day, it was so wonderful.
graduating was such a weird experience, it was like i was playing dress up with a rather ugly black gown. and my family was so wonderful, it was so nice to spend time with all of them and see how proud they are of me. Im glad i could make them proud.
and then there is my beautiful boyfriend who drove all the way to see me graduate in a car on the verge of breaking down, and he left this morning and i just cant believe how fast it went by, now i wont see him for a little while and i feel like the past day weve grown even closer which is so unbelievable to experience. this relationship constantly surprises me in how it grows and changes, just when you think youre in love it becomes deeper and a new understanding of what love is surfaces. and God, do i love him, and i know he loves me.
and now i just cry and cry and cry because im all alone in this apartment trying to get out of here so ican go home and not be remined of the fun i had with him in the place ive hated for so long, i dont want to look at the couch where we watched tv, or the bed we slept in, or anything else! I just want to be home with people who love me....with anyone who loves me, or in kentucky but thats not possible.
i never thought anyone would love me like this. i didnt even believe love like this existed. i hate to not be able to live without someone. its so rough.
and i wishi could control my emotions somehow and i cant, and the fact that the clothes inthe dryer wont dry faster adn that there is another load waitinng to be dried and this is keeping me from going anywhere is just killing me right now and making me cry harder.
all of my support system is gone and i feel so alone, ugh these damn tears.