im listening to the twilight soundtrack and feeling kind of in a "bare your soul" mood.

So, Obama wins the election and I can continue being an American citizen (haha!) . Im really looking forward to the changes that will be made and the new nation that will emerge. I feel like things have already changed. I really feel the poor will have their day. It is engraved in my heart to help the poor, especially the children. I wish I could save the world.

I ran into Denise, the RN that went with us to Nicaragua. Im actually in her class next semester for HESI prep. Im really excited. She is teaching a masters course and has arranged to take the grad students to Nicaragua for a thesis project over spring break. Im so excited for her and incredibly jealous. I am dying to go back. Ive been dreaming about it so much lately. Will, the leader is headed to Darfur over Christmas break to do mission work there. Ill just be heading back to Cleveland. I know in time with education and experience I can do these things too. The programs that work with foreign countries all require some experience, and Ill get there!

Im still obsessed with the idea of not knowing what to do with myself come May. I have been researching a Europe trip which is extremely expensive. I would have to take an enormous loan out , which at this time in the economy probably isnt the smartest thing. But i think that trip would really help me grow as a person and allow me to get to know myself before i join the working world and society. I think i fear being apart of this. I dont want to be ordinary. I dont want my life to be the same thing day in and day out. I dont ever want to be bored. Luckily, I dont think nursing can bring a boring life.

Im taking off to New Hampshire next weekend to visit Julia. Shes only a hour from Boston so we will be doing a city trip. Im praying it doesnt rain like the last Boston trip, which consisted of us running around with hoods up and not really looking at the city as we ran from shelter to shelter, but it did make for a fun trip. But i hope to really absorb it this time and take it in for all i ts beauty.

By the way, my room is functional and clean, so are my emotions. He and I are now postwar, and doing just as well as we were before the war. He has allowed himelf to show some emotion regarding the incident and allowed me to see that in actuality it does bother him, but he has to build a wall and make no emotion seen when dealing with the situation in order to prevent something far worse from blowing up. He has a better game face that I imagined. Enough to fool me into thinking he didnt care...no wonder he is so good at poker.

Dad is coming up today with the desk, my japanese floor sitting ways will come to an end today. I hope this facilitates a better learning experience. And as for the bandaide fixed bed, it didnt last long before a new hole developed, the bed deflated and iwoke up on the ground...so i bit the bullet and bought a new one. This is an air bed designed to be used as an actual bed and its wonderfully comfortable. Facilitating wonderful dreams and deep thoughts before rest.

im off to study for exams, 2 next week. grrr. I cant wait for a break =)