I am not a resident of kentucky...
such a weird realization, i can say it to myself over and over, and every morning wake up and think, this is where ill be waking up for most of the rest of my life, and still it doesnt feel real. i still think in a few days ill be going home to cleveland. but thats not so.
this past saturday i had a going away party of sorts with my family. it felt more like my funeral. everyone celebrating and eating good, and saying goodbye. I was fine until i had to say goodbye to nana, which broke my heart. but im not dying and its not really goodbye, its more like see you later. mom and i made a cassada cake that was a hilarious event trying to transport this huge cake a few miles, as it started to crack in half and i sat in the backseat holding it together and praying it didnt slide anymore that necessary. but in the end it did split in the fridge but man was it a good cake. That night mom and i layed in her bed and looked at her pyramid collectin magazine, talking about things we liked, and just bonded, we both cried realizing we wont be able to lay together and talk and laugh and bond for a while. but it was nice to have that night with her one last time. then in the morning on sunday i packed my car up and hit the road.
when i got to kentucky mark made sure to keep my evening packed so i ddint have time to think or be sad, mason was here so that made me happy, how can you be sad around something so precious as mason? we went and fed to ducks at the lake, something i used to do as a child. we laughed as mason fed himself as well as the ducks, mason has started to nodd yes or no and it seems he has an opinion about every question you ask him. mostly its yes which i know wont last long because once he gets into those terrible twos everything will be no. but we had fun, we cuddled up later at night before he went to sleep, hes just so precious it could make you cry.
on monday i had to go into the hospital and get some more paperwork done, mostly just going through the book of policies in the hospital and answering questions on that, then i got my badge made, met with my nurse educator and got some homework which of course doesnt end in school, but continues. later that evening i got a call from the hospital saying there was a problem with my licensure. it seems the kentucky board of nursing cannot give me a provisional licensure (which in kentucky is a temp licensure while you complete your 120 hours of on the job training which is mandatory here) until i pass boards, which means the hospital cant really work me as a registered nurse applicant (what your called while you have a provisional) until i have that. so its going to be alittle more time until i cant start my job but that are going to let me go to orientation next week monday through thrusday and then i take boards that saturday so hopefully itll only be another week while things get processed until i can start my real job. until then they siad they could possibily get me in as a tech so that would be fine with me. it would be just a short temp thing. so even though there are these extra hoops and jumps its going to work out. they said that no matter what my job is completely safe and they believe i will be stellar. stellar was the word they used, not mine. so that made me feelgood.

i went with mark tohis bank to try and set up an account and i couldnt because i didnt have a relative that had an account at the bank or one that worked for the state. this made me so sad for some reason. i almost started to cry. which is rediculous because there are so many banks in this world. but i think it was just the reminder that i dont have any real family here. but mark reassured me. and i got an account at another bank. he joked we could go to the courthouse and become family if it was that important to me.i laughed that one off. that will not be happening. on tuesday when i was driving around trying to get my fingerprints done i took a turn and just explored and i came across the bank that was recommended to me so i made an account there. i was very pleased with myself that i found it without help!! andi found my way back home too.

anyways, mark and i took a drive to the apartment, ate a mexican restraunt right next to it, and im so excited about it. its in a great location and right next to our building is a hotel so my family can stay there and be so close! its going ot be great! i just have no idea how were going to get all our things there, but ive moved many times and i know it is possible.

the rest of the week has been kind of boring, i just sleep and study while mark is at work and then he ocmes home and we hang out or he goes and plays cards with his friends. which makes me sad sometimes because i do wish i had friends i could run off with. but tonight i have my first meeting with the chi o advisors adn UK so hopefully i will be meeting some friends there !! im really excited about it and happy that i can get involved with something here and have a life. its such a blessing. this weekend on saturday im going to the UK game with mark's mom , she says i deserve a break. although i dont feel like i do. ive been studying but i feel like its just so easy now, maybe its because im using the same cd's i used obessively fro the HESI so its not new to me, i dont feel too challenged so i dont know. ihope im not kidding myself. i have a lot riding on this nclex. my friend em took it today so im going to get some tips frm her on how she studied and what it was life.

well im off to run some local errands! will keep updating!

Last weekend due to my sinus infection and neverending sick tirade....and Julia's lack of funds / mine as well in honest judgement, i went to cincinnati instead of put in bay. I had a really good time, spent money that i dont have at Easton mall, admired alot of things i wish i could afford and hope i can someday, including ugg boots which leah and i always said we would buy out first winter with a real job. Julia and i went to the beach waterpark and soaked up the last good rays of summer. Going down waterslides is not the same as it was as a little girl. I found myself getting airtime and landing back into my inner tube getting rub burn down my back and bottom. i was terrified i was going to flip, or fall out and down the slides...thrilling but i have to say the lazy river was the best part. after that we went to get ice cream at graters which is legendary. i believe oprah flies her ice cream in from cinci. its that good. they have this summer flavor that is strawberry with chocolate chunks but they didnt have it anymore...the the guy tried to mix strawberry with chocolate sauce which ended up being a disgusting chocolatey soup....i was disappointed. i dont understand the whole seasonal item thing...i mean really if its that good and youre going to make money off of it then offer it year round....i get that too much of a good thing can make you sick of it but just be more innovative and come up with a better summer item ...i mean strawberry with chocolate chuncks isnt that crazy of an idea that it needs to be a special item. I think like a pinacolada ice cream....that makes more sense as a summer flavor than strawberry chocolate!! anyays, after that we went to dinner at julias parents who make the best homemade pinapple pizza, they make everything homemade but with healthy items! they do everything healthy or low fat its really neat but its amazing how good it states. Julia and i discused the recent documentaries we had watched on tv about cults and polygamy. im really amazed by them. some things i learned: one girl who was alone in chicago after moving there met a guy and he invited her to his yoga class...i mean sounds harmless right? It was at a studio called Dahn Yoga so she signed up for the class! but it ended up being some kind of crazy cult where they sat around and yelled displaying there passion and trying to have vision....i mean people thing that they could never get caught up in a cult, but really its so easy to! i mean you think youre going to a yoga class and the next thing you know youre brainwashed, they pray on thepeople who feel they are alone because they promise friendships and family and that sounds pretty ideal. i mean the people in the yoga cult were young and good looking...i can see how she got trapped in it...but got out though adn was living at a cult survivor group in ohio somewhere before she headed back out into the would...it was similar to rehab. the polygamy one showed a woman with 7 children who was married to a man at 14 who was 32 years older than her..it was insane ...she was actually married the man who became the new prophet leader when warren jeffers was arrested. but she escaped but her oldest daughter went back after turning 18. Many people have wondered why when the LDS camp was raided none of the children or women cried and they explained this in the doc. The children and women do not show affection or emotion, they are taught as babies to have no emotion, the women do not hug or kiss there babies and many of them die because of lack of stimuli...a baby can be fed, changed, clothed, burped but if it is not loved and cuddled they die. The ones who survive never get affection or develop attachment to there mothers. if a mother does show affection both are tormented. its so disturbing! and most of the runaways are called lost boys because boys are thrown off the camp because of the ratio is uneven. if there are too many yoing boys the young girls will not wnat to marry the older men and therefore there arent enough women to go around so the boys are kicked out. its so sad. there are camps filled with teenage boys in utah and colorodo that were kicked out. so sad.anyways ive realized ive gotten way off track here! we went to the riverfest adn saw the fireworks on the ohio river, they were awesome I had such a great weekend and it was one last relaxing thing i could do before the craziness. i spent the first half of t his week with my dads family where my grandmother made me a goodbye dinner of sorts. she accidently used cream of tarter in her corn dish she makes whcih is normally really really good but this time was rather sour...it was asuch a huge mistake for her, one i had never seen hermake, she was embarressed and upset but its just corn but for her i could tell this was a big deal. anyways i heard more about my cousins new job and his amazing paycheck, and how smart he is thatn really answering any questions about my new job but thats okay i hate the spotlight....i said goodbye to my dad which was a bit emotional. i hate that imn growing up, iw ish icould wake up and be 3 again and be little and havef un and play with barbies and not worry about money, jobs, loans etc. you dont know hwo good you have it when you do. im home in cleveland now doing a million loads of laundry i have from going through my clothes, which im going to start packing up. i have so many things i need to do but the apt move in day is sept 22 and im so excited! mark is going to take carfe of the finances until my paychecks come in so its working out! just have to figure out how were going to get my stuff downt here...so now im studying for nclex, need to get my plates, need to get my fingerprints, get my tb test read and papers faxed to the hospital ,pack up my stuff and head out! on saturday my nana is cooking a dinner and a lot of my family will be there so it will be nice to see everyone before i leave! But i know ill be back soon, its not forever...just for now! im really excited about the changes and nervous too! i just hope i down start a crying fit like i usually do before leaving home. i know God is with me though! so now im off to switch my laundry and start the packing process!!!!

well, i have an aweful cold that just wont leave me alone. so congested. but anyways....here is my little update
mark is looking at this apartment i found called Townley Lake Apt. and it looks great! Its actually right across the street for Amazon where Mark works. This places cost includes cable and internet, has a 24 hour work out center, walking trail, outdoor pools, and each place has a washer and dryer which is such a bonus! Mark said they have to openings and we can either move in right away or sept 21st. so either way works fine with us! hopefully itll work out but if not Ill be staying with Mark's grandma and there are plenty of apartments out there.

my authorization to test is here!! yay! im taking my exam on Sept 26th!!! i scheduled it in cinci so its close to where im at in kentucky and i can see julia! Im so ready to get this test overwith and be a nurse officially! i filled out the paperwork online to get endorsed through kentucky to be a nurse! and i just need to get a new set of fingerprints done for kentucky so although its going to take a bit of time for everything to be complete, at least the ball is rolling!

Im at my dads currently just spending time here, hes offering me my dresser in my room here, and i have living room furniture lined up so things are really coming together. Although as i become comfortable in finances i would like to purchase my own furniture from ikea or something just to have my own nice things that i picked out and feel less like a bum college student making ends meet. but im so excited and grateful for the things i do have! i wont have to sit on milk cartons! haha

well thats the most of an update that i have so far! but im really excited and will keep everyone updated!!

ITs 2:37 on a saturday, possibly my second to last in cleveland for a while as i have made the decision to accept the job in frankfort, KY and will be reporting for my first day of orientation on sept 14th. I cannot believe this!!! Im so excited and ready to start my nursing career on a ICU step down floor...after i am completely on my own and doing well i will be cross trained for the ICU as well since these 2 floors work together. This hospital is amazing! it is run entirely by nurses and it is completely dedicated to enforcing nurses to go back to school, become accrediated and specialists and gives tuition reimbursement as well as grade incentives and it has a clinical ladder program that gives you a large large bonus based on your involvement in the hospital, education, and research adn many other thinga available to you in the community and hopsital. there is a nursing banquet once a year that awards nurses for there hard work, offering awards and scholarships from physicians and nurses and hospital boards. Every person i ahve met at this hospital seems to have the exact same personality as me. I coulnt be more excited! I will be working nights after my orientation which is days. The orientation process can last anywhere from 8 - 12 weeks and it is completely up to my comfort on when it is over, Once a week i will have meetings with the manager, my preceptor and the nurse educator of my floor to go over my stengths, weaknesses adn growth and map out my progess and once i am ready i will be moved to nights. these floors emphasize teamwork so i will never ever be on my own or feel lost! everyone works together and it seems like everyone loves to work here. I am so happy that i am blessed enough to be in such a working environment. It will be so strange to be away from home. I can tell my family is less than thrilled with this and nto ready to let me go,. But its a nursing schedule where i will be wokring 3 12's a week which leaves me plenty of opportunites to come home, and i plan on doing so once a month! im a family girl, i could never leave for long. and i will be able to come home a lot more that i did in college which really was a rare occurance! Im so ready to begin this chapter of my life although i am scared to death adn will probably want to come home eveyr day until i am aquianted with it.
marks grandma told me i should keep a journal of my changes as they come adn how different it will be for me, city girl moving to the country...well sort of! i plan on getting an apartment in lexington which is a bigger city! but the country is near! i happened to go with marks mom and grandma to the farm and i worked in the garden with them as they showed me how to pick beans and squash and tomatoes...they are also growing watermelons and pumpkins which are sooooo big its unbelievable!

Well now i am off to church with nana and mom. Im a little scared to see nana because i know she has to be upset that i am leaving, and i think she thinks its a personal attack that i am leaving "her". I cant help feel like everyone things i am dying the way they are treating me ..."one last time" seems to be a constant phrase these days...but i know once things get into a pattern it will feel normal and it will be like it always was.....there are a lot of mixed emotions going on but i know Gods will is prevailing as i have prayed and prayed it will. I feel like this is the right thing to do . hopefully everyone can see that too. I will shine.

Interview 1 : At the nursing home I was interviewed by the new DON ...well new since i was there, not the same one that was hired on at the end of my summer job. Almost everyone that i had worked with that i liked had been "let go" or fired. It was odd. the DON told me she jsut got her BSN a year ago, which was odd. I jsut dont think it was the place for me, she told me they didnt have a position available at the moment but she saw one being available in a month and to call when i pass boards. so there is a job there for me, but do i really want to work somewhere where people are constantly being let go? Betty seemed really excited about it. as did shirley...Shirley has been very sick lately, she cried when she saw me, she is thin as a rail and hasnt been eating. It makes me so sad to see her. i hope she is okay! i just think she is the sweetest thing in the world. i think she was happy to see me! i need to get back and see her again because something tells me time is limited.

interview 2: I had an interview in KY at a hospital that Mark's sister works at. My interview went well. I met with the HR recruiter and he was so much fun. It really felt like i was meeting with friends, totally down to earth, i didnt feel like it was an uptight scary thing. I was totally at ease. However, the hospital / state was in the middle of a disaster drill so Brandon, the recruiter couldnt interview me fully. So he had his partner in HR finish the interview. I luckily was still able to meet with the Nurse manager of the Labor/ Delivery floor and she was really nice. Everyone seemed really impressed withmy resume which ihad been doubting lately was good enough or too long. But they all said it was impressive so that eased my doubts. She said seh really liked me and wanted to hire me on but they only had 2 openings in the night shift which was already really young. She said shed be meeting with her managers and try and see if theyd let her. Well that interview ended up lasting 2 hours much to the dismay of my bf who was waiting the car at my pleading. I didnt know it would be so long but he got a nap in. Lucky, We had both been up all night with his son who was teething and in pain. So Im lucky this interview went well when my brain wasnt functioning so well.
I heard back frm brandon and they werent allowed to hire me on to the Labor and delivery floor, but brandon is sending my resume to other floors...they seemed really impressed with me and i really loved this hospital, I really felt like id fit in there!

I had a call from a hospital in cincinnati out of no where which was awesome! Its for a brand new hospital that just opened up last may! its a med surg job which isnt what i really want to do but thats okay because itll give me experience and then i can switch into whatever i would like. I pulled some answers out of my butt because iwas totally caught off guard with the phone interview. The nurse recruiter is out of town until next wed. so they are going to call me back next week to schedule an interview!

Finally all these doors are opening up to me! and im getting my new car later today! its about time! I just hope i land a job in the best possible place that i need to be. Im still trying to get into a cleveland interview as well, i contacted the secretary at my cousins office and she is going to call me back, hopefully she will know of something. I keep trying to get into cleveland clinic or something around here but its been difficult. it hink the cleveland market is still tight so we shall see!
i wholeheartedly believe God will place me where I need to be! just looking forward to where that might be!

As far as my authorization to test, im waiting for that. i just got my name up on the site as registered to test so any day now i should get my att in the email or mail! Im so ready to get that behind me and sign my name Molly Imler rn, Bsn!!!

well this weekend is the feast and the berea fair, so im looking forward to attending both. Ive been sick all week! its been terrible, i just started some antibiotics and they are killing my stomach causing intense nausea which isnt fun at all. But im starting to feel better regardless of this little irritant!

Mark started his full time job this week, hes really turning into an adult and im sooo proud of him! he may be getting a new(used)car on monday and hes really excited about it. Ive been spending a lot of time down there, hopping around. I went with his mother to the 127 yard sale which runs from alabama to ohio..it was pretty amazing, definitely some buys! I missed my great grandma Mom Imler...so many of the things were things that she had or would of had! like the old fashioned egg beater with the handle that you turn...but it was fun! Mark and i helped his neighbor set up there sale since their neighborhood is right off of 127. he ended up getting many good steals! he still wants me to move in with him which id consider if i move down there but i dont know exactly if thats what i want jsut yet. i mean i love him and when imn there i practically am living with him, but i still think id like to know what its like to live on my own...and i always thought id want to get married first before ilive with a guy but i really love mark ...so well see! i dont really need to worry about this until i have a job which is what i keep telling him. one day at a time!

car shopping is stressful
dad makes it even more so because so many factors have to align just perfectly to make him happy.
Today we test drove an 07 kia spectra at a local used car lot. I loved it. It has a few stains on the seats, some dirtyness to the dashboard, but other than that its beautiful. Dad complained he could hear air noise on the driver side, i didnt hear anything but after driving the neon which sounds like a hurricaine is going on outside while in operation, its a dream. We are waiting for the loan to go through on monday and then the car is mine and i can pick it up!
im very exciting but nervous at the same time. I have this car and a 5 year contract to make payments each month. It will be good to build up my credit but i cant help but feel a bit apprehensive. This is a big responsibility that felt like it was years and years away and now here it is. Im so grateful i have a father who is able to help me get my life started.
Every time i see him eh tells me to get a job, which i am trying depserately to do. i have an interview at the nursing home i used to work at on monday, pretty excited a bout this,. i have my doubts t hough, my nursing mentor told me that its not a good idea to get started into a nursing home, and i worry about getting stuck in the older market, what i want is pediatrics and its so hard to get into and med/surg experience is needed but i dont know how theyd feel about nursing home experience. i guess its a job though.
Its not in kentucky or cinci which is really where i want to go. I dont have any friends in cleveland and i love my family but im young and what am i going to do with my free time here? i guess i can always hit the road and visit. But as my relationship grows its becomes increasingly difficult to live without the one you love on a daily basis. He is in so many ways my future but its so hard to wait for it to happen. I worry about the test this will place on us.... but then again this is a temporary thing, to make money.
we shall see how it goes. Ikeep saying that God will place me exactly where i need to be and i have to continue to trust that.

The wedding on saturday was probably the most beautiful wedding ill ever go to. Sarah was absolutely beautiful, she looked as though she belonged in a bridal magazine. It was so evident that these two truly loved each other. I credit them for changing my pessimistic and cynical views on love.

my uncle married them and taked alot about the Bible and what it says on marriage. He spoke of Genesis, the beginning, when God created the world he made man and for the first time said "it was not good" because man was alone. He fastened Eve for Adam , who was like him. He created someone to make this relationship and love to reflect how God loves us so that we could feel it and become one with one person and create a life with them. He said that there is this one person for us created to reflect God, to show us his love. I thought this was beautiful.

That God so loved us to give this love to us is amazing. to reflect his love. To make us better people.

The reception was beautiful as well, alcohol free but a lot of fun regardless... we had party favors of playing cards because Tad does magic tricks with them and bot h sarah and tad love to play games...i thought this was a unique gift.

it was held at the masonic temple , the servers were all older men , i had ordered lasagna and the man, with his hands shaking, gave me chicken, so i didnt tell him it was the wrong plate, i didnt have it in my heart! i just ate the chicken!

i ended up catching the bouquet!!! which was a fun event, ive never caught the bouquet before!. I danced with my daddy and family and new friends and just had a wonderful time!

It was a great set up to pass the HESI on monday which i totally didnt think i wouild be able to do. I had studied after the rehearsal dinner at the hotel, and while i was getting my hair done, and all day sunday. i cried a lot on monday, including a few times during the exam because i jsut didnt feel as thought it was going well. i was in a office by myself which did take a bit of the stress off, and i took many breaks, never looked at the time. at the end it took me over 3 hours and after i hit the final question i covered my eyes and didnt want to look at my score w hich i was sure was not good! but i passed it!! with a 917!! such a relief!!! Dr. batten hugged me and it felt so good to be done with this chapter in my life.

now comes the job hunt and trying to figure out where to move which is bringing a lot of pressure to me from a lot of people to move certain places. i just need to leave it up to God, i trust that where i get the job is where i belong....

its just proof that things do work out in time! just keep on smiling and trucking along!!

yesterday with my first free day of no studying i went to the pool,. read a book that was completely mindless with no point or serious topic that i havent read in a while, and it was wonderful although now my face and chest and shoulders are bright pink!!! now i start the job search, clothing organzing, room organzing, getting everything done that i put off for a month or 2 while i studied....its wonderful! although still weird! =) ill start studying again on monday but not as intensley in order to keep in the game for when i take the NCLEX In a month or so!

yay!